◕__________________◕
Just got back from the Lorde concert in phoenix. She is really awesome live. So great!
Strange feelings from the situation of who I went with, though. Hope this means we’re friends again.

Just got back from the Lorde concert in phoenix. She is really awesome live. So great!

Strange feelings from the situation of who I went with, though. Hope this means we’re friends again.

I just lost the ring I’ve been wearing for over a year now. I can’t, for the life of me, recall where I last saw it. Funny, how things become part of your identity.

Right Now, I Am Feeling.

No makeup and sitting in my new sleep shirt. My back aches and my stomach is slouching so it bunches into rolls I try to hide from the rest of the world. In front of me is grapefruit sparkling water sitting on a cracked hand mirror I had long ago reappropriated as a coaster. The cheap plastic ruler I’ve had since the seventh grade, the one pocked with burn marks from when I used to play with candles, rests between layers of green-lined engineering paper.

A smattering of transfer functions brings me between spatial and frequency domain. I draw lines on yellow fields that describe how incoherent light moves through space. Script H. Script F. Curling letters around curly brackets.

It strikes me with more clarity than normal how absolutely beautiful studying light feels. The pure theory has such clean math. Every line is Fourier-wrapped and xi-ribbon-filled. My point spread function in amplitude is the Fourier Transform of my pupil function. F{rect[x/(2w),y/(2w)]} glides onto the page and it becomes two-dimensional and ever-so-perfectly separable.

This is all for the sake of understanding the particle waves that make up everything that has always inspired the emotions and ideas in my head. All this math to describe the visual. So many special functions, I can’t help but describe myself using them now too.

It is much more beautiful to flow along my emotional axes as a comb function multiplied against a sharply scaled Bessel than to let myself be an unpredictably aliasing sawtooth pattern. The horizontal axis is time. The vertical axis is intensity. 

Someone there is throwing my special functions away from the ideal. Though in math it may help to increase my sampling frequency, in practical application the opposite must be used. Ideally, there would only be one sample.

It’s getting harder and harder to hang on to duality. The more I learn about the wave-based theories, the further away I drift from the arts I used to love. I am becoming the waves and I miss the geometry.

It scares me how the elegance might fade away as I learn more. 

This is a night of making efforts to return to being on track for becoming who I want to be.

My legs cross and I pose myself for you, my invisible audience. The only thing keeping me company now is Persephone and her in-tank reflection.

Waves of cars pass by outside. Incoherent. I return to my script F. Script H. This is privilege.

blossgloss:

Girly fashion is always a source of casual fashion.
(Reminds me of Bernadette from Big Bang Theory, haha)

blossgloss:

Girly fashion is always a source of casual fashion.

(Reminds me of Bernadette from Big Bang Theory, haha)

Reblogged because I’m pretty sure that fringing pattern on her dress is because of aliasing. All the math I’m learning about sampling theory is so beautiful and it’s all spinning around in my head right now. 

i’m not interested in competing with anyone. i hope we all make it.

Fashion Wonderland: Tony Ward f/w 2013-2014

Develop a healthy relationship with food. If you’re hungry, eat. If you’re full, don’t eat. Eat vegetables to be good to your body, but eat ice cream to be good to your soul.

Take pictures of yourself frequently. Chronicle your life. Selfies are completely underrated. Even if the pictures are unflattering, keep them anyway. There will always be mountains and cities and buildings, but you will never look the same way as you did in that one moment in time.

Your worth does not depend on how desirable someone finds you. Spend less time in front of the mirror and more time with people who make you feel beautiful.

Close doors. Don’t hold onto things that no longer brings you happiness and do not help you grow as a person. It is okay to walk away from toxic relationships. You are not weak for letting go.

Forgive yourself. We all have something in our pasts that we are ashamed of, but they only weigh us down if we allow them to. Make amends with the old you and work every day to become the person that you’ve always wanted to be.
Tina Tran, Tips to being a happier you  (via seulray)

collections that are raw as fuck ➝ gardem s/s 2014