Incident One
Prof: “I’m really excited to be teaching English 380 this semester. No freshman silliness when you’re at this level.”
Me: *is a freshman*
Incident Two
Classmates: “Hi, my name is Derpa! My major is… Creative Writing… English… Pre-Law… Linguistics… Latin…. And I’m minoring in… Philosophy… Music… Creative Writing… Chemistry….”
Me: “I’m Lisa and my major Optical Engineering? I’m minoring in Electrical and Computer Engineering—”
Classmates: *stare*
Me: “—and Creative Writing. Um.”
Incident Three
Professor: “I’d like you to write on your first paper under your name all the English classes you’ve taken thus far.”
Classmates: *whisper under breath* “English 101, 102, 210, 374A…”
Me: “… I took Honors Freshman English?” *cries*
Oh, of course you’re not actively supporting slurs. I mean, who in their right mind would go about proclaiming that?
I understand the point you’re trying to make and the place you’re coming from, but how does being gay and having a boyfriend and some gay friends make you any more or less qualified to use the word? I mean, if we’re playing the “it’s okay because I’m gay and I have a partner and gay friends too” card, then here’s mine:
I have gay friends too, and them including me and my ex-girlfriend were all very bothered when people were just able to use it so casually. I mean, it’s not like us saying “please don’t use it around me,” is gonna stomp the word out of peoples’ mouths, and I know it’s not the worst kind of homophobia that there is out there, but it’s the subtle one that’s ingrained in our culture that makes it seem okay to make derogatory remarks.
I’m glad you and your boyfriend and friends are comfortably enough (in your own sexualities and the such) to be able to hear it without batting an eyelash. But, at the same time, keep in mind that other people are bothered by it. The big fuss (though… I’d rather just keep it at fuss, as when it gets to the big level, that’s just annoying…) is over the fact that some people are bothered by it and just refraining to use it is respectful to them. Sometimes, it’s more a matter of respecting other peoples’ boundaries than anything else. This isn’t to say you can’t use this among your friends, as I have no right to dictate what you can and cannot say in your personal conversations. But perhaps limiting it so as to be sensitive to the other ears around if you’re in a super public area would be a courtesy.
And, no, saying “faggot” isn’t a world disaster. There are many more worthy causes to get riled up over than a single word in the English language. Still, in the same way that bad things don’t spoil good things, “big” problems shouldn’t make the “small” problems any less important. (Quotation marks used there because sometimes the definition of “small problems” and “big problems” is a fuzzy, fuzzy carpeted line one toes quite carefully.)
But, of course, words have just as much power as we’re willing to give them. Maybe in my efforts of asking people around me not to use that kind of language is only giving the word more power in the same way that using it to replace “uncool” can make it seem as though homophobia is okay.
Afterthought. Roommate says: “You’re undermining your own humanity. What part of that is okay with you?”
